i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
