So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
They are going to name an STD after you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
