She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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