I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You smell like stripper and shame
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
