I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
