Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I skipped work to stalk him.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How external is "for external use only"?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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