My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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