I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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