Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
