she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drunk is a universal language darling
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
