i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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