no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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