I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
