Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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