I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
