just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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