Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
