doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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