i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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