you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
