In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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