jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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