This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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