Non-Jews are for practice
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
