I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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