You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
