So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
