If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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