A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
