He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
