Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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