This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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