If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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