I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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