I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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