I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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