so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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