he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
