just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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