I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
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YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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