Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
