Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
