Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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