just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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