It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you traded sex for a burrito?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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