so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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