dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
