I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
