Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
