I hate your face
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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