i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize