I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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