Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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