Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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