how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
