Apparently you make a good broom.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
