Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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