dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just puked most of my soul out..
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