dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I am morally bankrupt
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
