dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
