I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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