ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
